My Top 10 Anticipated Releases of 2018

As it’s January 5th, nothing much has been released this year quite yet. We’ve still got a lot of 2018 to get through. Therefore, the time is ripe for me to think of what I am looking forward to watch/read this new year. This list is ranked from 10 to 1 (1 being most anticipated). Hopefully all these books/TV shows/films and more can deliver this year.

10. The Post

Directed by Steven Spielberg

Release Date: January 12

For a long time Steven Spielberg has consistently turned out great films. The Post looks to be no exception. Following the controversy resulting from the leak of the Pentagon Papers, The Post seems like the right political film we need in our current country and world, and, based on reviews, it should be a great experience.

 

9. Phantom Thread

Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Release Date: January 19

Daniel Day-Lewis has been a favorite of mine of years. If you want an example of the finest acting from the 21st century, you need look no further than Paul Thomas Anderson’s 2007 film There Will Be Blood, in which Day-Lewis plays the frantic and violent Daniel Plainview. Other favorite characters of mine include his Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln, and Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York. Phantom Thread seems to have the best of both Anderson and DDL. I can’t wait to fall in awe of this writer/actor duo.

 

8. The New Mutants

Directed by Josh Boone

Release Date: April 13

Deadpool and Logan proved that R-rated X-Men movies are absolutely necessary in this current climate of meh superhero films. I had no idea until the trailer came out that they were making The New Mutants, but based on the trailer, and Fox’s great production of recent superhero film, this upcoming release should be sublimely awesome.

 

7. Solo: A Star Wars Story

Directed by Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, & Ron Howard

Release Date: May 25

Yeah, I am aware of the troubled production of the upcoming installment in the Star Wars universe. Regardless of the lead actor’s apparent inability to act, and firing of the original directors, I trust that Ron Howard was able to steer the ship in the right direction. Besides, Donald Glover as Lando, Emilia Clarke as the female lead, and Woody Harrelson as Han’s mentor? Count me in!

 

6. Sicario 2: Soldado

Directed by Stefano Sollima

Release Date: June 29

It’s been a while since I watched Denis Villenueve’s Sicario, but I remember being quite impressed by the film. Based on the first trailer, Soldado will continue the dark, and brooding nature of the first film, while uping the ante with the harrowing expedition into the United States’ war on the Mexican drug cartels. It should be fiery, pounding, and leave a solid impact.

 

5. Deadpool 2

Directed by David Leitch

Release Date: June 1

Deadpool is, quite frankly, one of the funniest films I have ever seen. 99.99% of that is due to Ryan Reynolds’ wonderful performance. To put it simply, Reynolds was born to play Deadpool. The first didn’t disappoint in any way, and I am confident that Deadpool 2 can repeat the hilarious and vulgar nature of the first one. And who knows, maybe Reynolds will actually get the Golden Globe for this one.

 

4. Isle of Dogs

Directed by Wes Anderson

Release Date: March 23

Wes Anderson’s penchant for quirky characters alive in funny scenarios seems to know no bounds. The Grand Budapest Hotel was both humorous and insightful at the same time, and Isle of Dogs looks to take it to a whole new level. Especially with the stop-motion animation this film will have, I’m prepared for an adventure I will never forget.

 

3. Incredibles 2

Directed by Brad Bird

Release Date: June 15

It’ll probably be true that a majority of the audience for Incredibles 2 will be in their late-teens and early 20s. We were all little kids when this came out, and have loved it ever since. The Incredibles is one of the best Pixar films of all time, but it did leave off on The Underminer cliffhanger. This is the Pixar sequel everyone has begged for. Now, after 14 years, we will finally see The Incredibles vs. The Underminer, and I cannot wait.

 

2. The Winds of Winter (A Song of Ice and Fire Book 6)

Written by George R.R. Martin

Release Date: ???????

Alright, alright, I’m cheating with this one. Nobody knows when this book (if ever) will come out, but hey, 2018 is a new year. Hopefully Martin is in the home stretch of writing this. However, it has been 6 1/2 years since the last book, so the future likelihood looks dismal, but I believe every fan should remain optimistic. After the shaky seventh season of the little-known HBO series, TWoW may be our saving grace.

 

1. Westworld Season 2

Network: HBO

Release Date: Spring 2018

It is hard to put into words the raw and awesome impact that watching Westworld has on someone, but Season 1, in all its shock and glory, gave us merely a taste of lies ahead. The wait has been long for Season 2, but it looks to be well worth the wait. The showrunners, husband and wife Johnathan Nolan and Lisa Joy, have expressed how hard they have worked to exceed expectations of fans, plotting new twists, and keeping the events of the second season secret. I desperately hope that this next season will exceed every single one of my wildest expectations for the future of the greatest show currently on television.

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review

This review has been a long time comin’, I know. Many of you already know what my opinion is, but a review is still warranted.

There be spoilers here. (But c’mon, everybody has seen it by now.)

I absolutely, positively, HATED The Last Jedi. The fans who have been saying how brilliant it is are either delusional, or are in the denial stage of grief right now. Make no mistake, this is the worst of all the Star Wars films, and yes, I’m including the prequels when I say this.

Now that I have gotten that out of the way, let’s begin.

I have loved Star Wars ever since I can remember. This is the one film franchise that I have continued to hold high even through the murky and muddled prequel trilogy. When Disney announced in 2012 that they would be making a sequel trilogy, I was cautiously optimistic. I was excited to see what would happen to the characters I had grown up loving, and how Disney would wrap up the saga. I remained optimistic because I knew that George Lucas had always wanted to create a sequel trilogy. In a interview from the 80s Mark Hamill said that Lucas told him the sequel trilogy would focus on him handing down Excalibur to the next generation, with the films being made some time around 2011. Well, we were just off a bit from that prediction. Disney eventually scrapped the story treatments Lucas had prepared, saying they wanted to go in a different direction. Alright, I can buy that. Disney didn’t want to deal with the negative fan reception that the prequels had received, so getting rid of influence from Lucas seemed to be the best course of action. When The Force Awakens came out in 2015, I loved it. Yes, I was able to realize the one-too-many similarities with the original that J.J. Abrams had included, but I was able to look past that, as I wanted to see where the story went in VIII before I made a lasting judgement. In the months leading up to the release of VIII I was very excited. On opening night a few weeks ago, the crowd was electric, all of us waiting for the resolution to the literal cliffhanger left two years prior.

The Lucasfilm logo and the opening crawl had us all reasonable ecstatic. Then, a bit of the way through the opening scene, the cringe worthy humor began. Poe Dameron makes an “on hold” joke with General Hux. I didn’t like that at all. The joke persisted for a solid 15 seconds! I understand that some humor is needed in franchise films to lighten the tension, but beating the audience over the head with it is absolutely unnecessary. Take Blade Runner 2049 for example. The film is undoubtedly serious, but does have moments of subtle humor. Subtle humor would’ve been great for The Last Jedi, but cramming puns and all sorts of stupid jokes to please Disney executives is a major fallacy.

Beyond the God awful humor that “visionary” Rian Johnson forced (ha, see what I did there?) down our throats, there is one scene where any notion of grounded realism in the Star Wars is abandoned for the dumbest moment in the entire saga. (Yes, even worse than The Phantom Menace fart gags.)

I’m talking about the moment that Princess/General/whatever-the-hell-Disney-will-call-her-next Leia takes a little joy flight in space. When the TIE fighters blew up the bridge, I accepted that she had died. It was grounded, sad, and a fitting end to her character.

Then all of a sudden she FLIES BACK INTO THE SHIP.

WHAT THE HELL RIAN JOHNSON?

In the words of the late and great Han Solo:

If this magic power existed, why didn’t the Jedi who were shot down in Revenge of the Sith use it?

Huh? Huh? Don’t have an answer do you fanboys? That’s what I thought.

After seeing Chewie in the gif up above, that reminds me: What exactly was Chewie’s purpose in the The Last Jedi? To eat porgs?

That also reminds me: Porgs. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, were they in this film? No, no, I unfortunately know the answer to that question. To sell toys. Plain and simple. They served absolutely no value in the film whatsoever.

Porgs also lead me to my next gripe: Alien-milking Hobo Starkiller, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. Right from Luke’s toss of the lightsaber for a cheap laugh, I knew his character would also be cheap for everyone who wanted to know how he ended up. Luke is a wimp.

Oh, what’s that I hear? Whiny fanboys incoming?

“But, but, but, Luke’s characterization shows a broken man,” you say.

No, it doesn’t. Luke’s characterization is the result of poor writing and a coin-toss decision. Johnson never knew what to do with Luke, so he wrote a character that half-assed fans would hail as “revolutionary”, when it in fact is very lazy writing.

Why didn’t Luke try to save Ben Solo, instead of trying to kill him on a whim? Two words: Bad writing.

But hey, at least with Luke we got to see where the blue milk comes from, right? Right? Oh, okay, I’ll let myself out.

No, no, no, no, no! We ain’t done yet compadres!

Poe Dameron’s a dick. He was fine in The Force Awakens as a bravado-stoking ace pilot, but all that turns into here is a dick. He constantly berates his officers. I’m with Laura Dern’s Vice Admiral Holdo when she reprimands him for not respecting the chain of command. Look Poe, I know you’re one of the top-billed cast members, but could you please take a step back, maybe take some Prozac, and just chill for a while? Sincerely, Reed, a true Star Wars fan.

Also aboard the Resistance ship of poor characters: Rose! Rose, dear, why are you here? I know Disney loves diversity, but why does that have to come at the cost of introducing interesting, three-dimensional main characters? Rose Tico is just present as a motivation for Finn to do something, and…a love interest? Why, Disney? Finn had WAY more chemistry with Rey than with Rose!

And, that casino scene on Canto Bight. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I learned from that scene is I should be nice to alien creatures. Gee wiz, thanks PETA!! Literally, that is the only point of the casino scene.

Oh damn, I here them again. The fanboy squad.

“But, this scene gave us a detailed backstory and character motivation for Rose,” they say.

No, it was just free advertising for PETA.

*Please, just donating $10 will help find a home for these alien horses*

As I have alluded to, the entire Rose-Finn-Benecio del Toro subplot is a waste of time.

Speaking of a waste of time, Captain Brienne of Tarth, I mean Phasma!

After The Force Awakens, many of us were disappointed that Phasma didn’t get her chance for bad-assery that she deserved. The Last Jedi would surely have that, right?

She’s in it for two seconds before dying an anticlimactic death. A completely wasted opportunity.

Don’t worry those of you that have lasted to this point, we’re in the home stretch.

Snoke. The guy who everyone hoped and prayed was a menacing force, and potentially a certain character from Star Wars lore, failed here too. He dies! Why!? We could’ve found out so much about him!! Instead, he died like the Emperor did, though at least the Emperor got a fully realized back story. Snoke did not. Snoke needed this! Otherwise, with his death, it isn’t grounded.

Oh no, here they come again. Worming their way into the blackness of brain.

“But, but, what about Rey and Kylo teaming up? That was pretty cool!”

Yeah, it would’ve been, if they had stayed that way. Instead, Kylo Ren went back to the archetypal baddie, and Rey to the unflinching heroine. The only good thing to come out of their arc is the Ben Swolo memes.

Oh, how this story could’ve gone away from good vs. evil, but oh how Disney executives didn’t want that to happen.

Even Luke’s force projection didn’t work. It was thoroughly unbelievable that this considerable tool had existed for millennia but had never been used by anybody on screen. Stupid.

And Finn’s near-sacrifice? That wasn’t Rose coming to save him, that was Disney executives telling everyone that you can’t kill a new good guy off quite yet.

And the end. Oh, yay! Hope has spread to the galaxy once again! Nope, we’re being suckered in to the same exact story all over again.

THIS JUST IN!!

I have the plot for Episode IX!

The Resistance will find a planet filled with porgs, and together they will destroy the First Order!! I can’t wait!

.5/5 (The ramming of the ship at light speed was the only minor good thing this film had.)

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Review

I can’t think of any other film that has been more formative in my life than Star Wars. It is one of the first films I remember watching, and it has stuck by me for all my life. Star Wars has been the cornerstone by which I have seen the standards of film heroics and villainy, adventures and destiny. I will cherish this film forever.

Of course, much has been written, filmed, and discussed about how this film changed the landscape of cinematic storytelling. Most of that focus has attested to the strong, visionary special effects that formed from Star Wars, but the story itself is where the praise must be directed.

Lucas has said himself that he drew influence from Joseph Campbell, and his theory on the “heroic quest.” The film’s story follows that exact quest, with some elements branching off into the fifth and sixth episodes. Luke Skywalker is a farm boy that finds the call to adventure. Through that call to adventure, the wise figure (Obi-Wan Kenobi), and more side characters are brought along to create the journey. In this sense Star Wars works miraculously. By taking a simple, universal story, the appeal of the worlds Lucas has created are universal as well.

Star Wars also introduced the world to the likes of Darth Vader, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2-D2. These characters and more push Star Wars further to a legendary realm. All characters play off one another with life, and vibrancy, allowing for the film to bring characterization to the forefront alongside the monstrous special effects.

Success is simply an understatement of what this film has been able to accomplish in the minds of millions around the world. It’s continuation through the prequel and sequel trilogies, as well as the countless toys, books, video games, are evidence of this lasting adoration and appeal.

Some may say that Star Wars changed the film industry for the worst by bringing the focus to blockbuster hits. Star Wars shouldn’t be to blame for other studios and directors investing time in science fiction and action films that are sub par in plot and direction. Star Wars merely introduced a concept for a new kind of storytelling, not one that should be the only direction of film making for the future.

If there is one negative to the evolution of Star Wars, it is in the incessant changes George Lucas felt were absolutely vital to include. Brushing up some areas with CGI is fine, but extending sequences to fit in poorly rendered, and out of place aliens shouldn’t be a priority for altering a classic. If Disney and Lucasfilm were to release a version of the original trilogy that removed most of Lucas’ changes, the public would show immense appreciation. We all want the story, not a bastardized version that continues to trudge along.

Star Wars, if it can be boiled down to statements, is brilliant. It will forever remain a favorite for generations and millions. It is visual storytelling at its finest.

5/5

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Review

From the promotional material that preceded the release of Rogue One, we were promised a new kind of story telling in the Star Wars universe. The story of the capturing of the Death Star plans would be stark, and brutal. However, during the months leading up to the release, re-shoots were ordered by Disney executives, allegedly to make the film more humorous. However, when all is said and done, the finished product is quite spectacular.

Rogue One tells the story of how the Rebel Alliance stole the plans to the Death Star. Though the ending is spoiled by the opening crawl of Episode IV, the details were not mentioned, and thus opened the door for a wide range of narrative possibilities. Intertwined in this plot are new looks at the Force, the Empire, and everything in between.

One of the main elements that caught my eye from the start was Rogue One‘s acknowledgement of the Force, but from a purely spiritual standpoint. This is evidenced by the Temple of the Whills. Guarded by Chrriut Imwe, and Baze Malbus, the Force is an object of concentration. Neither light nor dark is discussed, but its presence is key for character motivation. If there is one thing good about Disney’s revival of Star Wars, it’s in the nuanced interpretation of good and evil.

The worlds created (and destroyed) in the film are great technological feats. The planets of Jedha, Eadu, and Scarif evoke the greatest aspects of the original trilogy, while remaining at a distance. An authentic feel comes forth, one that allows for the events of the film to transpire cleanly. Disney’s venture to steer away from the look of the prequels is admirable, and it has worked in the two films released thus far. The practical effects work to perfection, and the classic aesthetic remains.

The acting in Rogue One comes at a bit of a misstep. Emotions and lines aren’t forced, but no care seems to be given to ensure that the best potential acting can result. Part of the film’s life is lost with this ignorance. Felicity Jones mainly has this misstep due to some poorly written dialogue, while the rest are just moving along.

The re-shoots to add “humor” also fell short. The droid K2SO, who aids Jyn Erso, and Cassian Andor & co. to find the Death Star plans, is the one who cracks the most jokes. This is fine for a bit, but when all the lines coming from one character are sarcastic wisecracks, the validity of that character is quickly thrown to the side. Edwards should’ve stuck to his original assertions of making Rogue One a dark journey, unlike anything we’d seen before.

Another aspect of criticism for many in the film was the inclusion of Grand Moff Tarkin, and Princess Leia. Both characters are portrayed in full CGI. I actually liked the inclusion of both characters. Rogue One would’ve been lost if it weren’t for their appearances.

Another character inclusion that is worth mentioning is Darth Vader. Though his appearances are brief, Vader brings fans what they have been wanting to see for decades. In doing so, the stakes are raised, and the stage is set for A New Hope.

I also commend director Gareth Edwards for deciding to make a “sad ending.” Apparently, Edwards wasn’t sure if Disney executives would approve of a dismal ending, but they did, and the result is fulfilling.

Rogue One, though the first live action spin-off Star Wars film, shows that Skywalkers and Jedi aren’t needed to create a memorable tale in the far, far away galaxy.

3/5

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Review

Episode III is, by far, the best of the prequel trilogy. Granted, it doesn’t take much to be better than I and II. All three films have fatal flaws, but Revenge of the Sith has the least. While rampant CGI still takes center-stage, the final steps are taken to complete story lines in satisfying ways.

Hayden Christensen’s acting, while still sub-par, is better than in the previous installment. His mannerisms and lines don’t seem forced. In seeing this, his costars are able to act better, and scenes aren’t filled with awkward pauses or actors forcing themselves to interact. Some bad moments come and go, but the result isn’t as cringe worthy as Episode II.

The action scenes in III are some of the best in the entire saga, the Battle of the Heroes, and the opening sequence bearing evidence. The politics of the first two episodes are dialed back, allowing for the roots of the series to take hold, instead of bogging down the narrative with mindless subplots (though one could argue against this with Obi-Wan’s side quest), the film focuses on tracing Anakin’s submission to the dark side.

Unfortunately, Anakin’s submission to the dark side seems rushed. Though we saw elements and hints of it in scenes from Attack of the Clones, the execution of it in Revenge of the Sith doesn’t work to fully transition the whiny Anakin of the prequels into the badass Darth Vader from the original trilogy. The transition is in pieces, when the full of it should’ve been gleaned from all three films. On that level, this film doesn’t work to fully cap the birth of Darth Vader. Lucas wrote the film to show Anakin going to the dark side primarily to save Padme, but that notion seems forced as well.

Another element that doesn’t pan out is the inclusion of General Grievous. His screen time is minimal, and while threatening, merely acts as an obstacle and subplot villain for Obi-Wan to be distracted by. All three prequel films had wasted villains. Phantom had Darth Maul, Clones had Count Dooku, and Sith had Grievous. All three are on screen briefly, and have minimal roles, but take up a majority of the plot just to get to a fight sequence or a reveal. The entire prequel trilogy didn’t have one upfront villain (Palpatine was behind the scenes for most of it), and viewer interest would be sure to stray.

The “execute order 66” scene is very choppy as well. Though interesting in concept, all the Jedi die unbelievable deaths. A couple of clone troopers shouldn’t be enough to take down a majority of the Jedi. What should have been a somber scene, turns into a slightly humorous moment. Had Lucas included Sith users to challenge the Jedi Masters, a better montage would’ve resulted.

As stated before, the absolute high point of Revenge of the Sith is the closing duel between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Affixed against the volcanoes of Mustafar, the two battle it out in the best lightsaber duel in the series. Although logic does come into question (“I have the high ground!”), it is a satisfying culmination in tension between master and apprentice.

The final scenes of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Bail Organa are great in execution of setting up the plot lines of the original trilogy. And, as Disney plans on making an Obi-Wan anthology film in the near future, Lucas provides a potential avenue to explore: Yoda tells Obi-Wan that he will train him on how to contact the force ghost of his deceased master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Having this exploration into a new aspect of the Force would been very interesting for a new story. Hopefully, Ewan McGregor will reprise his role.

Overall, Revenge of the Sith succeeds at concluding a rocky trilogy. While all the minute details may be clumsy and illogical, set-up was the main goal of this film, and it worked. All story lines, from the final duel, to the birth of Luke and Leia, form to lead in well to the original trilogy.

2.75/5

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Review

I was too young when this came out to remember anything beyond the new toys and lightsabers that were released. I don’t think I had seen The Phantom Menace yet, but I was well aware that new Star Wars films were coming out. Once again, as I stated in my review of Phantom Menace, George Lucas’ intent of making the films for children was widely obvious. I loved the prequels as a child, because they appealed to base interests for a 4-6 year old boy: fighting, cool creatures, and bad-ass Jedi. If you go into both Episodes I and II looking for those base elements, you’ll be quite happy.  On a more important level, in regards to the qualities and merits as a serious film, no such examples are evident. As before, there were some things I liked about Attack of the Clones, but there were a helluva lot more things I hate.

Exhibit A:

 

 

The “romantic relationship” between Anakin and Padme.

During the events of the previous film, Padme was around 18, and Anakin around 10. As Anakin and Padme get to know each, they develop a “mother-son” relationship. As was evidenced by Anakin and his mother Shmi in The Phantom Menace, he has a hard time letting go from maternal presences. Nevertheless, the fact Anakin has miraculously grown to the same age as Padme, and has a creepy attachment feeling toward her is wholly unbelievable. Even as Obi-Wan tries to whip him into shape, this doesn’t help one bit. Anakin isn’t a charming guy, just a massive sleazy creep who is just edging into puberty. Thus, “romance” is lost entirely on the audience. If the previous film had started out with Anakin and Padme being the same age (as well as choosing a better actor than Hayden Christensen, but I’ll get to that later), natural chemistry most likely would’ve been seen, and the audience could’ve been pulled in more to the course of their relationship. Starting out Anakin as a 10 year old boy was a massive fatal flaw, insofar as to build romantic dynamics.

Another point to note is the forced dialogue written by Lucas himself. Anakin constantly bemuses his “dreams” he has of Padme, and has wimpy lines that don’t fit in any film of any kind. Padme’s dialogue is also at fault here, as she is cross with Anakin at the beginning of the film, saying to Anakin time and time again to back off, and then suddenly falls in love him.

“I truly, deeply, love you.”

Nobody talks like that!

I don’t understand where Lucas got this dialogue from, but it at least proves him to be a bad writer. It is hard to say more about just how cringe-worthy these moments can be. And, unfortunately, their interaction takes up a majority of the film’s plot. What Lucas should’ve done was gradually build their romantic relationship gradually over the course of all three films. Shoving everything into one really detracts and distracts from the other characters and plot points. The relationship of Padme and Anakin is one of the worst elements in an already bad film.

 

Exhibit B:

 

Hayden Christensen’s acting.

Once again, I use the image of the infamous “sand scene.” I don’t know if Hayden Christensen was the best to audition, the worst to audition, or the only one to audition for the role of “Angsty Annie”.

From the finished product, it looks like George Lucas stopped him after the first line read, said “you’re good.” And didn’t look back. Lucas should’ve looked back, as the end result is a whiny wimp of a Jedi. From Christensen’s abysmal acting, it is tremendously hard for Star Wars fans to believe that the wimpy, creepy Jedi on the screen turns into one of the most terrifying and awesome villains in film history.

He just can’t act in Clones. Other actors may try to scrape by the horrible acting job, but Christensen’s struggle does bring down other performances, most notably Portman, and McGregor.

Other elements of Clones that I hated was the excessive CGI, and obvious green screen sets; logic of the chase scene in Coruscant; boring beginning; leaps in logic on the overall plot. I could go on and on, but there are some positives to reflect on.

 

Some positives:

I did like Obi-Wan’s investigation of the mysterious assassin which leads to the discovery of the production of the clone army. It provided various levels of intrigue, and insight as to how calculating Palpatine could really be. While it was sidelined thanks to the “romance” direction of the film, it remained strong in its own right.

I also appreciate the decision to severely scale back on the appearance of Jar Jar Binks. Though he is still abhorrently annoying, this behavior is just confined to a couple of scenes. Thankfully, he is shown even less in Episode III.

There is still the feeling of being in the galaxy far far away, with a large array of planets and aliens to accompany the feeling. It is grand in its action sequences, but not so in everything else.

For children, Attack of the Clones is wonderful, but as they age, the film doesn’t age all that well.

I do believe that George Lucas had the best intentions going into production, but allowing for him to have complete creative control over the process, and not allowing anyone else’s comments to have a voice, really made this film suffer. If discourse had been permitted, and Lucas more willing to accept the fact that his work isn’t as good as it was in his mind, a better success may have been seen.

Unfortunately, we’ll never know what might’ve been.

Fortunately, the trilogy improves in quality with Episode III.

1.5/5

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review

SPOILER ALERT!!

(but come on, you should’ve seen it by now)

I think I used to like this film when I was little. It had everything to satisfy a little kid: Lightsabers! R2-D2! Podracing! Jar Jar Binks! The Phantom Menace is tailor made for little kids. I believe Lucas himself has said this.

After re-watching this film time and time again, I hope to find something worth loving, or even just liking. But with the bulk of the film, there isn’t much there to appreciate. The plot is so boring! Who really cares about trade federations, taxation, and treaties? Those phrases don’t belong in the Star Wars universe, or really in any mainstream film. This is a sentence from the opening crawl:

“The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.”

Wow. Really captivating, George.

If Lucas himself has stated that Star Wars is for kids, then why having boring noise from the get go? I don’t think he has ever clarified why he made this decision, instead of beginning with an exciting escapade involving the Sith and the Jedi. At the beginning of the film, as Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn arrive at the Trade Federation blockade, they fend off multiple assassination attempts by the Viceroy. I use the phrase “assassination attempts” very graciously. If you call poison gas, a door, and dumb droids as suitable opponents for Jedi, you loved this film. Lucas said to Steven Spielberg in the “making-of” that Jedi cut through the battle droids like butter. While it may be exciting to see Jedi slice down multiple adversaries in a matter of seconds a couple of times, having the battle droids as the primary “enemy soldiers” for the prequels is very boring, and tiring.

But wait, you might say. This film is just the preamble for the rise of the Sith, something that takes the entirety of two more films to get to. The Sith hardly have a presence in this film. Yes, Darth Sidious and Darth Maul make appearances, but they are entirely unsatisfying. All Darth Sidious does is lightly threaten the Viceroy and Trade Federation to get Queen Amidala to sign a treaty, while Darth Maul just exists to give the Jedi a somewhat worthy adversary, and to sell more toys.

I’ll admit it. I love the Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon vs. Darth Maul duel. I always have. Accompanied with John Williams’ score, the scene is one of the most memorable in the entire saga. Granted, some parts of it are a tad strained, and illogical (like when Maul waves his lightsaber around instead of pushing Obi-Wan to his death). Unfortunately, this is the greatest stand-out moment from The Phantom Menace.

And, of course, there are some really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bad things going on in this film.

Exhibit A:

Young Anakin Skywalker.

George Lucas’ major fallacy was not just the casting of Jake Lloyd as Anakin, but the aging of Anakin. For optimal characterization, and plot advancement, Anakin should’ve started out in the saga as an old teenager, or young adult. By doing that, Lucas could’ve kept the same actor throughout the prequel trilogy, and, more importantly, the “love story” between Anakin and Padme would’ve been way more believable, if the right actor was picked.

Lucas’ decision to make Anakin a tween, and cast Jake Lloyd in The Phantom Menace is very cringe worthy to say the least.  First of all, Jake Lloyd can’t act to save his life. All of the veteran actors (Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson) are forced to tiptoe around the slowness and annoying habits of Lloyd.  Along with the characterization that Lucas created with a young Anakin comes the inevitability of a maternal figure for him. When Anakin and Co. leave Tatooine, Padme assumes that role. Later, Anakin and Padme “fall in love”, get married, and have children. In this film, he’s around 9, and she around 18. That is a really weird gap of logic and sensibility for Lucas to attempt to create. Plus, Anakin’s ability (dumb luck) to blow up the Trade Federation command ship, and effectively end the conflict, is stupid to say the least. There is much more I could say about the shortcomings of the young Skywalker, but that is the bulk.

Exhibit B:

GOOD GOD, GEORGE!!

What in the name of everything that is good in Star Wars did you do here?

Oh wait, that’s right.

Lucas, in the “making-of” film, stated:

“Jar Jar is the key to all of this.”

That is what Lucas’ mindset was from the beginning. All that Jar Jar is here for is to provide some giggles from little kids. It is extremely to say everything that I hate about the inclusion of Jar Jar Binks. Everyone who has seen the film, and has a few brain cells kicking around, will agree with me. I just can’t state enough how much I hate about the Gungan.

All in all, the negatives of The Phantom Menace far outweigh any potential benefits it has lurking beneath the surface. Unfortunately, all the issues aren’t really resolved in Attack of the Clones.

A generous 1.5/5